Tag Archives: panic

Day 4: Back in the saddle again? Ha!

13 Jan

As I’ve said recently, beware the mad rantings of a man [only] days into a lifetime journey. A case in point, I started this post yesterday, musing about whether or not I was (albeit slowly, finally and only in the earliest of days) getting back into the saddle of life again.

Suffice to say that I didn’t finish it, and today is a different story.  Today it’s taken me the effort of ten men to come back and finish what I started, itself a post I wanted to publish yesterday to stay on my regimen of daily writing. And this isn’t even the first time today; late this morning I think I almost consciously induced a panic attack when I first picked up my laptop. Heart racing, my inner critic getting louder by the minute, my inability to write a simple blog entry just the latest in a string of failures that too often define my life in my eyes.

What I need to remember is another pillar of my new approach to 2015, setting manageable expectations and celebrating small victories.  I did come back and finish this post (without a point it may be). I went on a long walk and read the newspaper over coffee at my old watering whole. I looked up job postings at the companies I want to approach and found at least one that’s a great fit with what I think/believe/hope are my strengths and skills.  And after fearfully (of what?!) putting it off for almost a month, I finally made a phone call to book a doctor’s appointment for my son.

Small victories. Celebration. At least I have therapy tonight.

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